The pain was too much for Keletso as she cried in tormenting heartbreak by her parent's grave side. She was angry at God for taking away four members in her family including her older sister and her unborn baby, she passed away a year ago from ... pregnancy.
11 years of uncried tears came rushing down her face, she couldn't stop them no matter how hard she tried, her vision was blurry from the heavy crying. She felt alone even though her lying, cheating girlfriend was a few feet away from her trying to give her some space to herself. She was dry eyed at the age of 15 when her mother's casket was lowered into the ground, her little brother clung on to their father's left hand while Keletso was on the right, her older sister sitting on the other side of thier little brother all of them red eyed except for her, she couldn't understand why she just felt empty. Her family's skin colour lighter than she was she saw had turned pink and their noses red from using too much tissues, she caught her dad's eyes looking down at her, he looked hurt and scared she had thought, even after two days of hearing him cry in the other room and seeing her father's red eyes she still wasn't used to seeing her father look so helpless and "weak" , she refused to think of that word to describe her father so she brushed it away as quickly as it came, she only knew her dad to be strong and refused to think otherwise. 5 years later she looked down at her father in panic as he cried from pain in his stomach laying dead still in the floor like he couldn't move. Her older sister had already called their dad's younger brother to come help them take their dad to the hospital. Keletso had visited once and she vowed to herself that she'll never visit again, she had so much hope that her dad was going to live a very long life, even if he did succumbe to the gullstones that were growing in his stomach, she refused to remember him in pain and crying AGAIN. It was too much for her when she visited and cried with him, her older sister and 13 year old brother.
A short plump woman with a bible clutched to her chest had been watching them, she removed herself from a group of women who looked like they where praying for a man in his hospital bed with a bandage on his head two beds down and approached them.
"Don't cry, le seke la mo layela a sa phela." She whispered to them, she had them hold hands and prayed for their father to heal. To this day Keletso feels guilty that she cried before she knew if her father would live or not, and according to the women's words mourned him before he left them. She blamed herself for not being strong enough the day she went to visit, and therefore causing her dad not to be strong enough for himself to fight during his operation. Dry eyed she remembered the all too familiar scene of her mother's casket going down the exact same whole that her father's casket was being lowered another 5 years later, she held her three year old son on her lap closely to her chest, mostly for strength, she just felt empty again. She had a child at 17 mainly because she thought he would fill the void she felt after her mother's funeral but he didn't, now it had gotten worse after loosing another parent but she didn't love her son any less and he had kept her sane and gotten rid of suicide thoughts, he had given her something to live for. She looked at the people next to her, only her sister and younger brother were left in the family, the three of them trying to pass strength to each other. Not counting their step mother
her dad met her a year after her mom's funeral, one year older than her sister their relationship got off to a rocky start
and four year old little brother who looked so confused and scared on his mother's lap, and eldest half-sister who they weren't that close to because they were raised in different homes. Only her and her little brother left now, they don't live together but she knows he is in a better place than she is. Both him and her sister's daughter are living with their aunt
mother's older sister
in Johannesburg, they were both in good hands. It wasn't that far away from Pretoria so she could always visit and they could always visit her.
Keletso was in hysteria, she now had a slight headache from all the crying and found it hard to breath. She clung to her chest, sitting down she lay her head on her parent's tomb stone looking for something to lean on for a little while.
Boipelo came rushing by her girlfriend's side and pulled her to her 34D boobs, Keletso didn't refuse the contact she felt calmer when her face was buried between boobs, the comfortable soft body of a women helped return her breathing to normal and she was grateful for the comfort. Boipelo kissed her girlfriend's forhead, people passing by would have thought them the cutest lesbian couple by looking at them not knowing the black cloud that is hanging over their four month relationship. Keletso thought it wasn't that long of a relationship to cry over it, and Boipelo just wanted Keletso to be submissive to the bone including not getting angry when she finds out Boipelo is cheating on her. "I have been in relationships that would last 2-4 years while cheating, you find out and you want to dump me? You are too dramatic." Boipelo would say being the angry one that Keletso refused to be weak to a 28 year old
she was two years older than Keletso
unemployed butch who looked to her for support with toiletries, clothes and food. From the two boys she already had from her previous relationships with men, she felt like she had another child, she was fed up with it and wanted out.
Keletso considers herself a nobody who lives her life either at her part time job or most of the time you will find her at the family house she lives in alone, reading a book or trying to clear out the clatter in the house from her parents and sister's old clothes that will never fit her size 26 body. She was the smallest in her family, her sister and dad where on the chubby side, she took her mom's small boobs and beautiful legs that look like she does a few squates everyday. Her mom was slender but also 2 sizes bigger than her, either way she was happy she had her mom's caramel skin tone that made her look coloured, she thought her family's skintone was beautiful but she didn't want to be as yellow as her father, her sister and little brother. Grateful to her dad's side of the family though that she had an ass that made her waist look super small... Plus the shortness that butch women she dated found adorable and always made sure they picked her up to state their point.
She worked in a retail store that paid her peanuts, the only reason she hasn't quit her job is because she has to take care of her two sons, younger brother and her sister's daughter that was left in her care, not forgetting trying to please a girlfriend that didn't deserve it, plus it was pretty hard for her to find another job.
All cried out, she tried standing up even though her head felt too heavy to carry all the way home and her feet refused to leave. With the help of her soon to be ex-girlfriend she dragged herself home.
"Please stay Boipelo, we don't have to talk about things right now." She didn't like how desperate she sounded but all she needed right now was to get high with someone and fuck, Boipelo was as close as she got.
I'm so excited! Thank you for reading this chapter, I'm still trying to get the hang of everything of I'm getting there. Chapter two coming soon.
