Baby fever!
Just in case you don't know what baby fever is, you're safe and if you do, may God help you.
Baby fever changed my whole life, but I must admit, it changed it for the better.
For those curious ones who need the help of God, I'll tell you what baby fever is.
Baby fever is wishing, dreaming, imagining, thinking, you have a child or children.
It's when you sleep at night and see a child or children in your dream.
Or when your mind is wandering about and your thoughts take you to a kindergarten school where a child or children run to you screaming "mommy, mommy" or "daddy daddy" as the case may be.
I had one of those dreams again and ever since I woke up, having a child has been on my mind.
My best friend Neh and I, suffer from baby fever almost daily.
"Is it the Asian dude's child again?" She asked when she saw me folding my duvet and smiling.
I dropped the duvet in shock!
Damn this bitch.
"Dude you scared me" I yelled throwing a pillow at her.
"You didn't even answer my question" she yelled back as she ducked.
"No, not the Asian dude's child, it was just a fine tall dude's child" I told her.
I've dreamt about an Asian dude's child before and it's not once.
"Slow down on the baby fever though, we're still young, we have a lot of Italian and Spanish guys to meet, we can't have children now" she said, coming into my room with my pillow in her hands.
"I guess you're right, anyway, I need to head to the doctors, I have an appointment" I told her.
"You sure you don't want me to come with?" She asked giving me that "I'm here for you" look
"Nah, you go to work, I'll be fine" I told her.
I entered into the shower, went on with my usual morning routine, which comprises of : brushing my teeth, applying conditioner to my hair and having a shower.
When I was done, I combed my hair which shrunk by the way.
Thanks water!
I towel-dried it and put it in a bun.
I wore a loose gown because, I won't have it on for long anyway.
I took my black sandals and I was ready to go.
"Miss Joshua!" The receptionist called, "yes" I answered lazily.
"Please follow me" the nurse, who looked no more than fourty said, leading the way.
Okay, here goes nothing.
"Miss Davis, you're welcome" The Lady Doctor said, smiling at me.
"Thanks" I said smiling back.
"If you could take off your cloth and change into the hospital gown, I'd-"
"Yeah, sure" I said going over to the part of the room she pointed at.
I told you I won't wear this for long.
"Lay comfortably on the bed and spread your legs" she told me, and I did as she said.
Time to get over with this fucking irritation.
"Can I have my head phones on? I don't want my mind to be on you" I asked and she nodded saying "sure, sure".
I plugged my ear phone to my ear and played Sick boy by The Chainsmokers, I closed my eyes and imagined I wasn't here, guess where I was...
You got it right, the fucking kindergarten School.
One minute into the song, I felt something cold going into me.
Ignore her! I said to my self, then I shut my eyes tighter and hummed along to the song.
When the song ended, she tapped me and told me she was done.
I felt weird down there, thank the stars it wasn't some hot male doctor.
Anyways, I thanked her and went back to the receptionist to pay for my session.
Three Weeks Later, I woke up feeling sick, I know I had a lot of junk food last night but, I never thought it'd come back to bite me in the ass.
"Hey, what's with the face? You don't look well" Neh observed when she came into my room.
"I'm feeling a bit under the weather, it's no-"
I was cut short by the sudden urge to puke, I ran to the toilet and indeed, I puked.
"We need to get you to the hospital, I'll get your jacket" she offered and ran to my room to get my jacket.
Neh hates it when people puke, she always said "when a person pukes, it means their condition is critical" that is why we are currently driving my car to the hospital.
"Hi, we need help, my friend is sick and she puked" that was Neh's opening remark to the receptionist.
"Hold on a sec, a doctor will be with you shortly" she told us and we st down on the available chairs.
When we eventually got a doctor, and I explained what happened and how I was feeling to her, she smiled at me and went to a drawer where she picked up a pregnancy test kit.
Handing it to me, she said "pee on the stick"
I peed on the stick and much to my horror, it came out positive.
What the actual Fuck!!!??
