Most of the time, I feel like my life isn't life but a curse.
My life isn't worth living though I want to. I am a werewolf but without a pack or a family member who even doesn't know how her parents looked or how it is to live with a family or the pack. The only family I had and I have in my heart is my grandfather.
Sometimes I wonder who I have taken after, do I look like my mother, or do I look like my father but it's the silliest thing to ponder about when there is nothing left to think about it. I was brought up by my grandfather who is also a werewolf but has abandoned his pack and left for England to live a life of a human.
I turned 20 this year and I have been living all alone since my grandfather breathed his last three years ago. My life is more of a hide and seeks game than life because I have been cloaking myself from getting caught by the people that I am a werewolf and burn me alive as I would be a beast, not a human for them.
But I want to live a normal life as a human, I want to be like them and love them, I want to have a family like them and stay in their world bearing beautiful children like them.
But when you are not a normal human being, you can never live a normal life like them though you toil endlessly for it. Of course, I am also a human but the animal that the people fear and hate the most is in me which I can never get rid of even when I want it so much because without her, I will be incomplete and to get rid of this animal in me is to get rid of myself.
Though I have been successfully hiding my true self and my identity from people for many years, I am never certain that I will live like this forever.
Sometimes I wonder what people would do if they knew that I am a werewolf. I am always apprehensive of how my friends, lecturers, and classmates would react and how would my neighbors..oops! I forgot that I don't have a single neighbor.
I live away from the town and people near a jungle, in the house my grandfather left for me and what occupies me most of the time is if they would accept me if they happen to know the truth.
My grandfather said that the house I live in was built by him when we first came to London but I was too small to remember anything.
He was the best grandfather one could ever have and will be the best person in my life other than my wolf. He enrolled me in one of the good schools in London and always dropped me at school and came to pick me up after school.
He always reminded me that we should never let out our secret to anyone or let our wolf out in front of any human beings for we are a beast for them and will hunt us down.
He even taught me to cook when I was just 7 years old and told me that I should never hunt a human how hungry I was, I should cook myself and appease my hunger with food and not with human flesh and blood. I have never killed a single human and I don't even know what werewolves do for their living because I have never seen werewolves or mingled with them other than my grandfather who has chosen a life of human.
Sometimes, my wolf and I run into the woods with the expectation of meeting another werewolf but it never happens.
My wolf is so huge and it has fur that is slightly blue and slightly white but I don't know whether my size is a normal one or if it's huge or small. My grandfather's wolf was a little bit bigger than me with golden fur.
Our wolves used to run far into the jungle feeling the cold air touch our soft fur making us feel happy and joyous and sometimes, we used to go up in the hills and howl with contentment. He used to howl and I used to reply to him with a high-pitched howl like a pack of two and we considered our wolves the only pack in England.
Sometimes, he used to take me into the jungles to hunt animals and feed on them but every time I gobbled an animal, something cold ran down my spine, making me shudder because it made me feel that I can never be the human I want to be as I am an animal who feeds on blood and raw meat.
After I lost my grandfather I seldom go into the jungle and howl as it has lost its charm without him and going alone makes me more sad than relieved. During the full moon night, I go up the hill where I used to go with my grandfather and howl at the pitch of my voice, waiting for the other wolf to respond to my howl but it is always my echo that responds to my howl, hurting me to know that my grandfather is no more, leaving me all alone in this place.
My grandfather told me that we ran away from the kingdom of werewolves because our pack was vanished by another notorious pack of wolves for their thirst for power and my parents couldn't make it out like other members but he never told me more than that.
He wanted me to live the life of a human, not a werewolf.
But before he breathed his last on his bed, he said, "In the dawn of the darkest hour, a man will come in search of you. I would suggest you escape but your destiny wouldn't. For the truth that you search for and the werewolf in you, will want to fight him. That is when you'll meet yourself."
What he told me made me sleepless for such a long time, and finally, I got a strong sense--that I would meet the one who's bound to me very soon...
