"Family"
Momma always got us together during the holiday's. I was the closest to her and for that, we were inseparable. No one saw me without mom or mom without me and I loved it that way. Some days, the bad ones, I'd sit and think of what my life would be like when she went on to Glory…It pained me severely.
Bad thoughts liked to consume my mind…especially after Carter. They would come in the middle of the night, disrupting my sleep. I'd have the girls ready and asleep…then I'd take my cocktail of sleeping medications to put me there as well. Sometimes they worked, other times I would lay there and read…reflect back on all the things I could have done differently but didn't.
Back to what I was saying though…Mom loved to bring us all together as if it was her last year. She was healthy as a horse maybe a little bit of blood pressure problems from my teenage sister Naomi and still behavior distilled 21 year old teenage acting sister Nala, but that was it. Dad was a strong man and we all knew it. He helped mom with everything including giving her everything her heart desired. Their relationship was strong, powerful and equal, something I knew nothing about in all my thirty—one years of living.
Everyone sat around the large table chit—chatting about what was under their Christmas tree. It was Christmas Eve and mom wanted to throw together a sunrise brunch, I helped her too. We went to the unique little food store that she loved so much, the one with the imported foods. It was nice and cheap…you could get a lot with a little.
The turkey and ham was nicely baked along with dressing, macaroni and cheese pie, collards, sweet potato pie, cherry cobbler and peach and momma's favorite to cook roasted duck. It was sort of chewy to me and I steered away from it but the girls loved it.
My girls…yes, I forgot to mention my two beautiful angels.
They were twins, Asia and Alyia Williams. I gave them their daddy's last name indeed…he adored them as babies for a little while….
Asia had her father's drive to deliver championship after championship with him being a professional ball player. Alyia was more reserved but loved everything about the world of arts like me such as writing and singing but she had her daddy's meekness.
"I'm going to say prayer now." Mom said, reaching out for her my sister's awaiting hand. She loved prayer, we all did but my sister was the one that truly stood on the voice of God.
"Ready Naomi?" Mom took in a deep breath and closed her heavy chocolate orbs before beginning her prayer.
My other sister Nala, the twenty—one year old acting teen, wasn't that holy…as a matter of fact she was into the whole 'live life' scene and you only live it once. There was no shame in her game…she didn't care one bit or had a filter over her mouth either but she respected mom.
Naomi closed her eyes and started whispering in a soft prayer while mom went ahead and brought it to the table like always. Daddy kept his head down and remained quiet like always when it came to my mom.
He was the pastor of our church but mom, she was the voice and the action there.
After the lengthy prayer, I could smell bad behavior from one of my girls. I never said what type of angels they were; I just said they were angels. Asia had a plate full of macaroni and a piece of bread.
"A!" I snapped and she dropped her fork.
"Velvetina! Stop yelling at that baby! If she hungry———then she hungry!" Mom snapped right back.
I found myself growling at times and that may had been disrespectful in some ways but that doesn't mean I'd stop. We all had our issues and mine was anger at times.
I could only give my daughter the death glare for reprimand as her eyes filled with tears. I was the type of mom that didn't need to say anything…just give that look.
Everyone ate in silence but I caught my father looking up at Nala a few times as she played on her cellphone. The typical preacher kid's family…it was like this at dinner and the parents were always on lock and key. I had already been the bad apple of the group and now it was Nala's time. Dad wanted to intervene with her life as soon as he could to keep her from becoming me.
"Velvet, are you planning on going for the job interview at that new gym?" Naomi asked.
Mom's eyes widened…I knew she disagreed with any type of work in the industry that my husband————former husband, worked in.
"Gabriel, say something!" Mom's lips pursed and the small vein in her forehead pulsated. I knew she was pissed.
"I have nothing to say." His eyes moved from Nala back to his almost empty plate.
"You are the king of this house, the pastor of the house of the Lord and you have nothing to say to your daughter?" Mom stood and Asia giggled.
I knew that dinner was completely over now. The lovely time mom and I had at the store———gone.
I yawned, trying to play it off and blinked back a few times. "Mom, I'm going to take a few plates…Asia is ready for her medication."
I glanced at the clock. That wasn't an entire lie. She was ready for her medication that she had to have to keep her heart running properly. I still remember the surgery they gave her when she was just ten days old. It was the only time I felt like Carter was completely and utterly the best father in the world…the other times, basketball was his baby.
"Um—hum…" Mom nodded giving me that look.
"I don't wanna go mommy!" Alyia whined.
"Too late," I stood and grabbed my half—full plate taking it to the kitchen.
I could hear her small steps behind me. My daughter was persistent when it came to getting her way. I could blame that on everyone who gave her what she wanted because it wasn't me.
"Aly, go back into the dining room and eat." I fumed.
"No mommy, I wanna stay and play!" She stomped her little black paten shoe on the floor.
"Aly" I turned to face her and she dropped her head in shame. I waited…
Tears, big crocodile tears started falling down her tiny face. "Please———grandpa said he was gonna read to us."
They loved daddy's stories. He was very theatrical in his attempt to entertain and the kids loved it.
"Byron wants to stay too." Aly said scratching her head. Her hair was in the perfect spirals when I did it but now, they were everywhere.
"Byron has to go honey, his mom will be worried." I explained.
Byron was the neighborhood kid that ate at everyone's house. He as a year or two older than my daughters but would come around when they were outside shooting hoops.
Plus it was a perk on his friend list to be close to Carter Williams' kids.
I rolled my eyes, emptying the plate of food into a to—go box. We had plenty giving we always hosted the church dinners.
"Go get your plate so I can fix it to—go…I know you didn't eat everything."
She nodded and walked off without wiping her tears.
Damn it…
Count down…
3, 2, 1————
"Velvet!"
Mom's willingness to be the parent was driving me insane. Why she wanted to raise my kids? I had no idea.
I could hear the click of her heels as she entered the kitchen.
"Mom———I know what I'm doing alright. I may not be the ideal mother that you were but I'm doing my best." I explained and my mom laughed.
"Ideal———girl, do you know I consider myself to be more than just the ideal mother! I raised you and your sisters while your daddy pastored that church, went on retreats and mission trips…me! I didn't have any help, not even your old grandmother. She told me not to get involved with a pastor but I did it because I was in love." She explained with tears forming in her eyes.
Sometimes I felt like momma regretted being with daddy. He was a pastor but it didn't mean he was a very good candidate for it.
"Mom, are you alright?" I placed the box inside of a plastic bag carefully while speaking to her.
She shook her head and took in a deep breath before a brilliantly trained smile played on her lips.
"I'm fine darling…that baby wants to stay. Leave these girls and you go on, I'll bring them home in the morning."
"But———it's Christmas." I frowned, the sadness would return when the silence came.
"Yes honey, if you are lonely, you can stay as well…I just thought you wanted to do some shopping or decorate the tree with their gifts."
My mom had the heart to give and overdo for her children———other people's children as well.
My phone was buzzing in my pocket and I had realized, it did before, I just didn't answer.
"Hello" I grabbed my phone from my pocket and watched my mom as she turned and left the kitchen.
While I still had her in my prayers, others would call me as well.
I sighed and waited for an answer and all I heard was a faint sniff.
"Hello———is anyone there?"
"Yes ma'am, I was given this number by the "We Care" ministry leader…his name was Jacob."
"Yes, I know Jacob, what can I pray for you about sir?" I asked.
His voice was soft…just like velvet, my name but I didn't want to go into government names and all.
"I just need guidance and such with my business…I feel like putting God first in everything I do will allow me to soar not crawl in life."
For some reason, my heart jumped. It had only been three delicate years since my sweet Carter left us, the girls were only three years of age.
"Yes, of course. That's a very wise thing to include in your everyday walk with God." I smiled thinking of what a great quality to hold on to.
"Yes, my name is um…do we have to give names?" He asked.
"No…absolutely not. I'm here for prayer anytime you need me. I'm glad that J.J gave you my number, he's a great person."
"Um excuse me, I said Jacob." He corrected.
"We call him J.J, just because his last name is Jameson." I giggled.
"Right, I apologize. Well, thank you for your kindness and prayer Miss…and um, Merry Christmas."
"Merry Christmas to you as well." I replied, leaving out the thank you because it wasn't me that would be answering his prayer.
Hanging up, I could see mom peeking into the kitchen.
"You can come in mom." I giggled and she walked in with a huge smile on her face.
"Why are you blushing, my beautiful daughter?"
