~Hannah’s Point of View~
I sigh and turn over, too hot and irritated to sleep. Just to add to my foul mood, it’s literally the hottest night of the year. So that plus the news from my father a couple hours ago, finding sleep will be impossible. The brilliant full moon shines through my window, giving the faintest bit of light and the reminder that I’m still without my wolf. She should have come by now.
When I hear someone moving in my room, I sit up and prepare to scold my little brothers for being out so late even though I’m certain it wasn’t their choice. They have slept with me their entire lives, but lately our father has been giving them “tasks” that sometimes extend way past bedtime. It pisses me off to no end, I want them to stay little boys much longer, but it's a losing battle. I open my mouth to scold them but it's not the hand of a ten year old boy that touches me.
I freeze instantly, realizing the hand is far too large, coarse and heavy.
“Sweet Hannah…” I hear, barely above a whisper. The voice is gruff and quite obviously needy. Every hair on my body stands on edge and thoughts of literally anything else fly out of my brain. The scent of male sweat and musk flitters into my nose and my jaw falls open. I know that voice, all too well unfortunately.
No, no! I was supposed to have more time!
Lips trail over my shoulder and toward my neck. I’m only in a bra and panties since it's so damn hot and I know he can see my skin on full display. I swallow the bile that immediately tries to come up and instead, a tear rolls down my cheek. No male other than him has ever really touched me. Seen so much of my bare skin like this.
“I… I thought you weren’t coming until tomorrow night…” I stammer, hating the way my voice trembles. This isn't me. I’m not weak and I’m not some silly little girl. But right now, I feel truly powerless and worthless.
I can’t let someone have that power over me, but I don’t know what else to do. This male is not a stranger to me, but my body doesn’t agree with his touch. I’ve never liked him like that. We may have kissed, we may have even fooled around as teenagers do, but I’ve never truly wanted it and I absolutely believe in my soul that my wolf will agree he is not the one for us.
But I’m 17 and still wolf-less.
“There was no way I could wait, beautiful. You know I’ve had my eye on you for years. My wolf and I literally ran all night. Everyone else won’t even be here until tomorrow,” he says, kissing down my arm and to my hand.
I expect most females would be flattered, thrilled that such a male was interested, more than wanted me. A match made years ago by the moon and stars according to my father. I should believe that after we marry, and eventually mate, things will be better for me. Easier.
But it means leaving my twin brothers, it means not being in their lives on a daily basis. Without me to look after them, without me to guard them from my father…
“Hmmm,” he moans, as he runs his hand up my thigh. I shiver involuntarily, and instinctively shut my legs.
There’s a movement so fast I don’t have time to react. My body is forced down against the bed, my arms raised and wrists pinned over my head. Panic fills me and I struggle to breathe.
“What! Harrison? No! No…” I call out, knowing fully well nobody else will hear me. Even if they did, they wouldn’t interfere.
“You are a Goddess Hannah. My Goddess,” he groans, as he kisses and gropes at my chest. I wiggle under his firm hold, but it’s pointless. I can’t move my legs, I can’t do anything.
This isn’t me, I’m not a weak female! I refuse to accept this is going to be my life!
Fighting him is pointless, I fully well know that. It’ll probably also only encourage him. My brain tells me to change my tactics, I’m always able to adapt and getting married off shouldn’t be any different.
Focus Hannah, don’t let him distract you!
Say it over and over… I am not weak, I am fierce, I am strong, I am Hannah Stone.
I am not weak, I am fierce, I am strong, I am Hannah Stone!
A light goes off in my head. He’s so hot for me right now, the best thing I can do is act like I want it. It won’t buy me much time but right now I’ll take whatever I can get.
“Hey, come on. Let me touch you, free my hands,” I say, trying to catch my breath.
His full weight on me is too much. His bare chest and stomach against mine is hot and suffocating.
“Yeah, that’s my girl,” he says, between kisses and licks.
When he releases my hands, I reach for him. I lightly rake my nails down his hard body, feeling all the indents of his muscles. His wolf vibrates him with approval, and when I trail my hands down his sides I realize he’s fully naked.
Of course he is. I imagine any female in my position would want to fully explore him, or more. But not me. No … way.
I mean, he’s damn nice to look at and while I have taken in the view… Once my father said the time had come, suddenly all things Harrison repulsed me.
“Tomorrow Harrison. I want it to be special, I want it to be our true bonding moment,” I whisper, doing all I can to hold my voice steady. Not to allow my fingers to shake.
“Tomorrow is forever away. We ran all day and night thinking of nothing but this. Your soft body under ours, the way you’d feel. Let me make you feel so good,” he breathes, falling over me and moving straight to my neck.
To my marking spot. I freeze. He can’t actually mark me yet, if he tries it’ll only hurt like hell but not do anything other than scar me.
I’ve never been a female that dreamed of this mythical fated mate, the person who completes my soul or whatever bullshit people think. I’m far more practical and I know when I marry and mate, it’ll be for protection. It’ll be for a more stable life for my brothers and I. While this male will give me most of those things, I just can’t allow myself to do it. Going with Harrison has far too many other implications. Far too many other strings attached.
My father has more than made it clear he won’t give up the twins. My brothers are his new cash cows, his means to live the life he wants. Damn everyone else and their dreams. He’s certainly never asked my opinion on anything. Never even let me keep any of the money or trinkets I get for him.
I sit up abruptly, wrap my arms around his hard body and rest my head over his heart.
“Please Harrison? It matters to me,” I say, desperate to put him off.
But what I’m buying time for exactly, I just don’t know. My wolf could literally come any day now, any time. But she hasn’t. If she had come with yesterday’s full moon, I might have more options. She could help me take my brothers and run. So I tell myself.
It’s the dream I cling to because accepting this as my life forever, being a rogue, being a thief… Making my brothers have this life when they’ve already been robbed of their childhood… I just can’t. I’ve sworn to them for the decade they’ve been alive. I'd do better by them. I’d make it happen. I’m still trying.
“Hmmm,” he moans, apparently loving the way my hands rub his back. He pulls me tight to him and mimics my movements down my skin.
Suddenly, the sounds of little feet distract us both and my entire body relaxes. My brothers are literally the light in my life, they make everything better.
“Hannah, are you still up,” Oliver calls into the darkness.
A big hand touches my chin and turns it, then Harrison rests his forehead against mine.
“Less than eighteen hours Hannah. One more day and then we’ll be joined. I’ll finally get you out of this bullshit nomad rogue tribe. You deserve better than this,” Harrison says.
I know in my bones he speaks the truth. His family has money, standing in the rogue world. He belongs to a tribe that has roots, even though they all equally rule it, his family is probably considered to be the leaders of it. I’d have a real house, food on demand. Nice clothes and never want for a thing. Unlike this abandoned cabin we’re squatting in and hoping no one comes back to claim.
“Who is in here,” Oscar asks.
When the light switches on, I blink heavily. Oliver’s big brown eyes are wide and his mouth is hanging open as he takes in the sight of me basically naked with a fully naked male. He’s never seen me with any male, let alone like this. I’m instantly more embarrassed than I’ve ever felt.
“Oh, hey Harrison,” Oscar says, trying to break the ice.
He turns and opens a sack containing his clothes and looks for the shorts he wears to bed, basically dismissing the scene. But the act is deliberate, and it tells my visitor that he isn’t leaving.
Harrison is still pressed against me, staring into me. When he licks his lips, my stomach churns. Oliver stays planted exactly where he is, and looks at us with anticipation. Neither of the boys know yet. Goddess. I love them so damn much. How do I break their hearts?
They don’t know that very soon I’ll be gone. They’ll be left to fend for themselves. Tears pool in my eyes at the thought.
I want to hate Harrison, and maybe I do deep down. He’s really done nothing wrong. He’s done everything a female could ask for and want. When he’s visited over the years he’s brought gifts for both me and my brothers.
He’s been patient with me, more than most would be. But I know all too well that monsters are real, and they’re very skilled at hiding their true nature. I trust my instincts on this, and they say that Harrison is a big fat NO.
“Tomorrow night Hannah, I mean it. I’m not waiting any longer,” Harrison whispers, as he pulls back and runs his hands down my arms. He stops when he reaches my hands, he takes them in his and kisses the tops. My entire mood shifts in a way that catches me off guard.
Something between my legs actually pulses at the visual of his naked body, the feeling of his sweet gesture. But I then quickly start to feel like I’m going to puke again.
“Sure,” I simply say, nodding in agreement. He turns to grin at Oscar, then ruffles his hair with a smile.
“You boys have done well taking care of my girl, but I’ve got it from here,” he says, as he moves.
When the sound of the cabin door closing hits my ears I let go of a hard breath. Oliver struggles to get something out of his pocket, and when I look down, he’s holding a pack of matches.
“What do you wanna do Hannah,” he whispers.
