4 years ago...
Slap!
For the first time in 18 years father hit me. I just stood there holding my cheek looking down with guilt and shame in my eyes as my heart was already broken to pieces.
"You wretched, disgusting girl! Is this why we raised you that you'd make us see such a day!" He yelled. His eyes were red and his entire body trembling with fury.
My Mumma and little sister were crying at a corner.
"How could you.....how could you forget your shame and ruin your family's name like that! Did you even sell your Iman!" He yelled slapping me again soo hard that I fell on the floor. But it didn't hurt. I was too numb.... I deserved it.
It was my punishment for falling in love...for trusting someone and for selling my body and soul to the devil in the name of the love which he turned into a joke.
"I will kill you today. I no longer have a daughter. You're dead to me....die you whore!"
The leather stinged on my skin and it made a loud noise echoing throughout the house....but it didn't hurt because the words of my father had already broken me inside out. He wanted me dead... I was a disgrace.... I no longer was thier loving daughter.... I was a whore who lost her chastity. I was an abomination to my parents.
Again and again the leather of his belt met my skin and my back. His leg kicked in my stomach but I just laid there like a lifeless doll, my body trembling at the impact of his hits.
I could hear my mother and sister sobbing but I couldn't look at them.... I was too ashamed.
His face....was all I could think of. His handsome face who I thought belonged to an Angel was actually a disguise for the devil himself. The promises he made, the way he smiled at me, his eyes that he always kept for me...it was all a lie. He was all a lie....a huge ugly lie!
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6 years ago
"M....mom.... please just...."
"Don't call me Mom with your filthy tongue. Someone like you can never be my son!" She cried.
I was trembling as I fell on my knees in front of her.
"Please.... Mom.... I'm sorry..... please.... don't say such things..... Mom... I'd die.... Mom...." I sobbed.
"You're dead to me. You're no longer my son! A rapist like you can never be my son! You beast...get away from my sight. I can't bear seeing you anymore!" She said turning to leave with disgust and hatred in her eyes but I grabbed her feet to stop her.
"Mom....mom.... please... don't do this....mom...." I cried at her feet.
But she pushed me away and stormed out leave me on the ground not even giving me a single glance.
My Mom, who loved me the most in the entire world.... Who couldn't even see a single line on my forehead who always smiled for me and hugged me whenever I was in trouble....now is disgusted with even my sight!
Why....why did it had to happen?!
Mom....mom don't leave me ... I'm sorry..... I didn't do anything.... I....she....
Mom please forgive me.... I'm soo scared..... Mom...
"Madam, we have arranged a lawyer. No one can touch the young master." The secretary told Mom.
She sank in the sofa and cried in her hands.
"Why did he do it? That to....with my dear friend?! How will I ever face her now?! She loved him as her own son and this monster....
I can't believe I gave birth to such an abomination! And now I have to save him? He should be punished.... rot in jail for the rest of his life for his heinous sin....but I can't because the company will be affected."
She turned to me as I came out, with such hatred in her eyes that I died a thousand deaths.
"Be grateful your Father isn't here or he would've killed you by now.
Get away from my sight! Never show me your face again. Till we settle the matters her with the media and the police and with.....Rashmi. Go away!"
I was sent to US after that. Mom promised to never see my face again and at the age of 19 I was asked to live all alone, get my degree and never even talk about returning home. Technically, I was kicked out.
If only, I wouldn't have gone there that day, if only I wouldn't have listened to her....
It's my fault.... yes, it's all my fault. Why couldn't I stop? Mom is right.... I'm a monster.
2 years I spent there all alone. Not once did Mom, Dad or anyone tried to contact me or even ask me if I was ok. I was just 19 and knew nothing much about the world apart from the warmth of my home and living in an entirely different country with different people.... I felt soo lonely. I had always had things in my hands with just a word, I never had yo do anything on my own. I was pampered like a prince till now but now I had to go to college alone, no family, no friends....
From that moment forward, I hated myself and I hated women. They disgusted me.
Just a mere touch might feel like I was burning. Whenever a woman approached me I pushed them away ...ran away from them, used harsh words. I despised them all.....
