“Run!”
I am far from her but the loudness of her reminder still lingers in my ears. The house that we manage to build is slowly drifting away from me.
I wanted to cry and ran back to her but she doesn’t want me to because she wants me to live. She wants me to go on with my life and build a new one that will be full of happiness.
“Ma…” I whispered as if she can hear my call
I was so scared. I am just 13, I am still a kid who needs her. I am still a kid who needs a mother by my side, to guide me and to hush me whenever I cry.
“Who are they Ma? Bad people?”
Mama just smiled at me as she put the necklace around my neck.
“Ma?” I called her, slowly understanding that she wants me to run away
“No matter what happens, don’t look back Maureen. Forget about me. Find Aunt Isabella in the South Florence. She’ll help you. Live, Maureen. Live for me. I’m sorry if I brought you into this mess. I’m so sorry, but please don’t forget that I love you so much.”
“What about you Ma? What about-“
She then hugged me and kissed my forehead, “Eros lo major que me ha pasado”
I wanted to ask her what she meant with those words but she immediately pushed me away. I saw her eyes turned to blue and it’s bright.
Was it because of the light? But her eyes were always brown. The sight made my body trembled and I wasn’t able to control it. Her eyes where telling me to go and run.
“Run!” she hissed and I saw from her bluish eyes, a tear fell
That was the last words that I heard from her before I ran to the woods. South Florence is far from here. It will took me two days to walk before I can reach there. In my pocket, I only had enough coins which is enough for me to buy two breads, but maybe I can use this for the bus fare, I hope the driver will let me even if it is not enough so that I can reach there tomorrow night.
I don’t know what to do anymore. I ran and kept on think that my mother wants me to go far away. But at the same time I want to go back because I can’t live without her.
I was running when I heard a wolf howling. It was my first time hearing it, but my mother always say that there are wolves in this woods. Some are white and some are black.
I didn’t mind the first one but when there is another howl, my feet stopped from running. It is not just a simple howl, it sounds like a cry and a goodbye.
“I love you”
“I’m sorry”
I tried to wipe it off my mind and continue to run. As I get far from the place, the howling of the wolves stopped. I don’t know but when it stopped, my heart suddenly hurts. With the locket, I held unto it to give me strength. It has a picture of my mother and me when I was just a baby. My tears are starting to run out of my eyes, but I tried to stop them. Now is not the time to cry.
I slowed down from running because I realized that I am now far from home. The men would have not followed me here. With the back of my hand, I wipe my eyes as my vision is starting to get blurry. When I saw a big tree, I decided to sit there for a while because my legs and feet are starting to hurt.
“Should I spend my night here?” I ask myself
It was as if an answer to my question. I heard voices coming to me. I looked up to the tree and I realized that it was reliable. I climbed and waited for the owners of the voices to go near where I am but I they didn’t come.
I looked up to the sky and there was no moon. The only light was given by the stars. I put my head in between my legs and tried to think.
“I’ll go back when the sun rise.” I spoke to myself
When the sun started to show up, I slowly go down from the trunk of the tree to the ground. The air was so cold yet it didn’t stop me from running back to where our house is.
“Ma!” I shouted as I ran back, calling her that I, Maureen, her daughter is coming back
But what I saw sank my heart and the tears that I tried to stop since last night are starting to come out. The strength from my knee worn out and I immediately kneeled on the ground, scraping it because of the sudden action.
I put my hand in my mouth to stop me from whining, but it didn’t help. The house- Our house was gone, half of the forest was burnt. I don’t know if I should be glad that the fire didn’t reach me or be sad that I was not burned together with it.
With my trembling knees, I stood up and ran to where our house is, but I couldn’t find my mother. I keep on looking for but I couldn’t see her. It was all black because of the ashes and the only thing standing here was the burned cemented wall.
Everything was burnt. I shouldn’t have left her. I should have stayed with her. I should have. Many thoughts are running in my mind. The regrets, the pain, and the sadness.
“Ma! Where are you, Ma? What am I going to do?” I shouted
The life that I thought would last forever, in one blink of an eye is suddenly gone. When death knocked at our door, I shouldn’t have ran away, I should have stayed and waited for it, because right now, I regretted everything. I regretted leaving her.
“Ma…” I cried calling her again
Now, my mother is gone and nowhere to be found.
